Harmful Attitudes That Spoil Relationships in a Worship Team

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By Gangai Victor

The best worship teams don’t need to have the best musical or vocal talent.

But they undoubtedly need to have the best of relationships within.

Anointed worship teams are more often than not made up of people who genuinely like each other, regard each other positively, encourage each other, and treat each other fairly. It’s not too difficult to understand that it’s probably because in God’s eyes, it’s wonderful and beautiful “when brothers and sisters get along!” (Psalm 133:1, MSG). In fact, God loves it so much when His people get along that He “commands the blessing” (Psalm 133:3 MSG) when we manage to!

One of the best things we can do as a worship team, when there are struggles to get along with each other is to check our attitudes—most of the time, that’s where the challenge lies! So let’s look at some attitudes that we need to be avoiding to build, and maintain excellent worship teams

The 4 Harmful Attitudes:

1. I am the best
Musically, maybe that’s true—in any team, some musicians will of course possess greater skills than others. But, that’s no reason to rub it in all the time sporting an I-am-better-than-you attitude.

And, it need not be confined to musical skills alone. We can also express things like “I pray longer, so I am more spiritual,” “I can quote more scripture, so I am holier,” “I am a full-time worship leader, you’re not, so I am more anointed,” and so on.

Remember the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18:9-14? At times, we can tend to be like that Pharisee putting others down, and raising ourselves up. God didn’t like it then and hasn’t changed His opinion since.

2. You need to change, not me
Remember those times when we listened to a sermon thinking, “I hope _______ (insert team member name) is listening to this point and understands it’s for him/her!”

We love to see others change, but we just cannot see it as easily when we need to. “It applies to others, not me” is not an attitude that helps the team in any way! Many a time, we need to be the change to bring about transformation in our ministry.

3. I am never wrong
It’s impossible for anyone to be right… all of the time! Though we know that no one is perfect, we find it so hard to acknowledge to others when we are wrong, right?

But guess what, the people in any team who command more respect, are those who are willing to admit it when they are in the wrong.

4. I don’t need you
“For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn’t be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own. Can you imagine Eye telling Hand, “Get lost; I don’t need you “? Or, Head telling Foot,” You’re fired; your job has been phased out “?”(1 Corinthians 12:21-24 MSG)

Need I say more? This is a brilliant Bible verse to apply to our worship teams! Let’s remember that none of us have the right to say to a person in our team that he/she is not needed—it’s probably one of the worst attitudes that we can carry!

So let’s stop grousing that our guitarist is not like Lincoln Brewster; or our drummer is not like Carl Albrecht. Instead, let’s aspire for contentment with those that we have been blessed with, and joyfully look forward to growing together in unity and harmony.

When there is mutual respect and bonding within the team, the payoff for everyone including our church is multi-dimensional—we will be well able to tune into the heart of our God; our rehearsals will be pleasant, and productive; our ministering will be blessed; our congregations will better connect through our authenticity; our relationships will be deeper than just a “ministry colleagues” level; and more!

Mother Teresa once said that a family that prays together stays together—it’s no different for a worship team! Let’s worship together, stay together, and edify the Body of Christ.

While some of these are picked up from personal experience, I’ve learnt more by listening to others—so I am keen on hearing from you. Do you agree that better relationships lead to better ministry among other things? From your experiences, can you share what else can negatively affect relationships in a worship band?

 

Gangai Victor is a worship leader/trainer/blogger from Chennai, India. Author of ‘The Worship Kenbook.‘ For more of his writing, you can visit his blog Votive Praise. You can also connect with Gangai on Twitter (@votivepraise).

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    13 comments on “Harmful Attitudes That Spoil Relationships in a Worship Team

    1. I have found, as worship leader, that those that are disrespectful and sarcastic to me create the most havoc. This is an area that we (pastor and I) have to continue to work on with people in our worship band. It creates a lot of unneeded frustration. The job is hard enough when everyone is getting along…it’s extremely difficult if when there are a couple folks trying to sabotage everything you do. My prayer is to have the great camaraderie that I know we can have.

      • Mar, try taking them out for coffee or inviting them home for a meal. Speak out what u r going through candidly and work things out.

        If that doesn’t help, maybe you could involve the elders in your church to find a resolution one way or the other.

        If you believe that you are facing an unfair problem, don’t live with it—it will affect you, the team and the ministry eventually.

    2. Pingback: Attitudes in Worship Teams | Refuge Worship Arts Blog

    3. I agree with you that good relationships among the team is important and pleasing to God. But I have learned in my position as coordinator that I have a responsibility to directly address attitude or behavior problems that are consistent, cause division, and quench the Holy Spirit- quite the opposite from bringing blessing. It is not enough to just “keep the peace” so to speak. If problems are not dealt with in a timely manner then an attitude of resentment can begin to erode the worship team and actually drive people out. As hard as it is, if a person does not respond to gentle, loving correction, they do not have a place on the team and should be removed. Part of the job of the leader is to guard against anything or anyone that tries to rob God of His glory.

      • When undesirable behavior is consistently prevalent, it’s of course good to consider gentle, loving correction. Resolving conflicts in a fair and timely manner is an important practice in any team ministry.

        However, asking someone to step down from the team—I’d probably consider it as a last and final resort—if, and only if we have tried every other known means of fair resolution, and couldn’t find success!

    4. As a worship leader I find this relationship model extends through us to the congregation as well. This article blessed me because tonight after practice a few of the band members and I discussed the ongoing uncertainty of the impact our ministry has. You see, from the front we can see the places of the hearts before us in their eyes and faces and when that individual worship in spirit and truth seems to be missing out there we can be discouraged. From this discouragement can be born all sorts of uncertainty, reservation, resentment and sin. We as a music ministry must heed Romans 15:5-6 in our spirits, look within to find our pure hearts and demonstrate God’s love through us. We must accept God’s forgiveness and forgive others for their frailties. We simply can’t be that vessel without deep abiding affection for one another in the group as it is only through Him that it is possible. As we held each other’s hands in prayer tonight, we prayed for God to make clear our place, teach us to examine our own hearts before assessing the hearts of others and to bind us together in love and humility. God speaks to our prayers through this article I found in my inbox tonight. Blessings to you and any others experiencing similar concerns.

    5. I had member launching nasty attacks against other members of my team and myself-when I attempted to correct the behavior. After leadership removed her from my team, the attacks continued-even went public on social media. (lesson to folks–if it’s not nice–don’t say anything ) When I spoke to the individual after 6 months of being snipped at I got a call from the police and she had filled a report claiming I had made threats against her. Then I also found out the night she was removed from my team-she had filled delayed battery charges(then refused to prosecute) against me. This was enough for me. Left on good terms with leadership, but they would not deal with her. Some of my team also left due to this. Conflict must be dealt with in a Biblical way and can’t be ignored.
      I was very hurt and a bit bitter. A wonderful sister helped straighten that out. Now, I’m grateful for my team, the opportunity to lead, my bosses and most importantly for a God that knows what is best for me and Who will with hold nothing good from me.

    6. I’d like to rephrase the previous statement.
      We had a very destructive individual on our team. Even after their removal, things were still happening. Eventually most of the team and I left the church, or quit serving. We are all still in good standing with our church. We loved playing and worshiping together so much that we still get together. We have also gone and filled in at some places so their teams can have a break. God uses everything for His good.
      (Think that’s better) Robin

      • Robin, I am sorry to hear what you and your team had to go through!

        While this sounds a bit like an extreme case, there are teams, which go through similar experiences… trust me, you are not entirely alone.

        It’s so necessary to exercise sound discernment when inviting people to be part of a team. That said, when conflicts arise (and they surely will), the sooner we act to resolve them fairly, the better for everyone—avoidance never works.

        But then, your experience is the perfect reminder that there’s no one-size-fits-all formula to handle all kinds of people.

        I will pray that God opens new doors for you and your ministry.

    7. I totally agree with the author of this article. God is good. He is for us. He created us in His image. He only thinks on how to get us to the next level. He takes each one of us and sees us as we really are, not as we try to have others perceive us as. He cares so much that he will put up with how we really are so that He can somehow get us to where we want to be. If you are called to be on a musical worship team, it is because God desires to hear you sing, play or lead others in this form of worship. We worship God in many ways..paying our bills on time, attending a church gathering, serving at a church, giving to the poor, investing in other people, giving a ride home to another ball player when you pick up your own child…Music during a church service is not about us. It is about showing, exhorting, pleading with the congregation to get your eyes off of here and gaze into the courts of heaven. Only there can we be prepared to really hear the voice of God through prayer. Only there will be become a soil that is good so that the seed of the word about to be spoken will have a great chance of doing it’s perfect work in our lives. We are charged with a great job. We can look at the things that we shouldn’t do while we are together or we can set our eyes on the job that we have been entrusted to do each and every time we step up on that platform, whether it be a Sunday morning in front of God’s precious chosen, or just in practice. It is a glorious job. We owe it to Christ and the Father to walk in sincere love and honor and respect of each other in this task. It is often more easy (lazy) for us to see what shouldn’t happen at practice or during a service, rather than focusing on what we are trying to do while we are there. We want to SEE JESUS. We want them to SEE JESUS…not us.

    8. Pingback: Harmful Attitudes That Spoil Relationships in a Worship Team | Walking to Emmaus

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